.:solitary confinement:.

On Love

2010-05-09T20:53:00.004+08:00

MUSIC: the sound of a heart when it breaks :(
THOUGHT: on love, unrequited.
I know nothing of what you call love, for my roots dried out in this barren place, my tears...the salt and pain sustains it and my withered tree stands alone yet proud that I have loved you despite the eternal drought. And as I wait for your rain, I die here slowly, painfully...so tell me, if that ain't love then f*ck I think I'll never know what it is.

jaded

2008-08-25T01:56:00.002+08:00

MUSIC: crazy, jaded by aerosmith
Jaded.
Think this whole internship/hospital/medicine life has made me.

rai na gud iba

2008-04-25T18:08:00.002+08:00

MUSIC: ngadi ha kasingkasing ko kay nag-uusa ka gud la...
THOUGHT: hai. kay ano? hell. =)

Chief Complaint

2007-11-05T13:50:00.000+08:00

Gen. Data: ***
CC: Doc, I have this big crush on you.
HPI: It's been 7 months and it's real bad...I guess. I self-medicated but nothing provided relief.
PMH: ***
FH: ***
PSH: ***
ROS: (+) cold
PE: (+) nasoaural discharge
####
I need a Vicks VapoRub!!!

Deep Brain Stimulation...

2007-08-02T16:39:00.000+08:00

Someday I'm going to be a brain surgeon...
On the second thought...I just escaped from my Neurology class.
And so...that ends the synaptic transmission.=P

stuck on reverse

2007-04-09T18:52:00.000+08:00

It's five pm...and my mind has been idle since the last time I really talked to you. I keep doing things just to get by but then it all fails me. There's nothing left to do. I sit here lit another stick, try to focus on things I really should be worrying about but then it only serves me well for a few seconds or so. And then I feel so broken once again. Maybe I should really try those things written there instead of staring at it blankly.
####
I wish every neuron filled with you just self-destruct...
or maybe I could just sell my heart for 5 cents or less.

summer

2006-05-28T00:56:00.000+08:00

Dear Summer,

Please don't come and go.='(

Always,
Cyra

untitled3

2006-01-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

So little time, so much to do.
I hate it when I'm leaving.
Another three months.
I'm holding on...
###
2005...i really don't know what to say 'bout last year. I guess it was lonely as hell.
2006...hmm...
###
ME
Paula Cole
I am not the person who is singing
I am the silent one inside
I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes I just pacify their egos
I am not my house, my car, my songs
They are only just stops along my way
I am like the winter
I'm a dark cold female
With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave

And it is me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence

I am carrying my voice
I am carrying my heart
I am carrying my rhythmn
I am carrying my prayers
But you can't kill my spirit
It's soaring and it's strong
Like a mountain
I'll go on and on
But when my wings are folded
The brightly colored moth
Blends into the dirt into the ground

And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
And it's me who's too weak
And it's me who's too shy
To ask for the thing i love
That I love

I am walking on the bridge
I am over the water
And I'm scared as hell
But I know there's something better
Yes I know there's something
Yes I know, i know, yes i know

That I love
But it's me
And it's me
But it's me

untitled2

2005-11-02T11:55:00.000+08:00

Being back here. Leaving.
Everything is depressing.
I should have known better.

i'm back...what now?

2005-10-27T03:11:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: hey jupiter - tori amos, 311's amber, humanda ka - sandwich, ub40 - red, red wine...
THOUGHT: donnu

It's 3:56 in the morning, still wide awake. Must've been the coffee or something else.
I need to sleep.
###
So after 5 months, here Iam still alive...and what should I say? I don't wanna bore you with the kind of life I had for the past few months. All I know is I'm finally back home and I don't ever wanna go back...or maybe I just need a longer break. Whatever. It's freakin' hell outhere and I'm damned.
###
Nothing is what it seems...
When you hear what you really never wanted to hear from someone you knew for eight years...
It's true.
The truth...
It's overwhelming.
Come clean.
I want to.
Salvation comes.

signing off...

2005-06-07T18:07:00.000+08:00

I'm kissing blogging goodbye (at least for now...who knows?). Haven't really updated for the past few months. I guess i was too lazy to. And now, i have no time for this (well also for a lot of things). Yea, i'm giving this up...i have no choice.
###
Can I graduate?
Can I make it to the next semester?
Hell.

all ya saints and sinners...

2005-03-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: let me love you - mario
THOUGHT: nothin'

In the spirit of Lent...have a blessed Holy Week to all.

results...results...

2005-03-12T10:32:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: Shut up by Simple Plan is playing on the background (I don't like it though...)
THOUGHT: Yehey!

Just copied my post on the Friendster bulletin.

http://www.mb.com.ph/issues/2005/03/12/MAIN2005031230473.html

Congratzzzzzzzzzz to those who successfully passed the medical technology licensure exams!!! esp. to all my friends, classmates & co-interns!!! This is it!!!! RMT na kamo!!! Panlibre naman!!!

chin

2005-02-09T23:30:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: some chill-out music playing
THOUGHT: a lot of stuff...

Hell, wasn't able to post my original entry. Kung hei fat choi na lang po.

twenty

2005-01-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: beautiful ones - suede
THOUGHT: yada!

Hey shorty, it's my birthday.=)
Just another damn day. Went home. At least I'm still alive, yeah twenty years and here I am... Damn, I miss my teenage years.=P
###
Edited entries, as well as the template. Yeah last postings...maybe?

flashback

2005-01-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: hari ng sablay by sugarfree, kitchie nadal's same ground, plumb's stranded, world's collide: a fairytale...
THOUGHT: duh!

Too late for this? Whatever. Got this through blog-hoppin'.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? -
work for a living...what else...that's all i can think of...plus a lot of senseless stuff.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? -
i planned to take risks and stand out for what i want. i think i did, just a bit. and of course on being punctual, well, i'm still working on that though. yep, and the two are still on the list for this year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? -
yep and i'm already a lola...would you believe?
4. Did anyone close to you die? -
nope.
5. What countries did you visit? -
waray ko iparasahe.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? -
more money and more stuff i want...hehe, a purpose driven life, a perfect body, a perfect soul=P
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? -
sept. 4, 5, 8 - board exams and the release of results.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? -
hmm...graduated, passed the licensure exam, had my first job...a job i never wanted...but to hell with it...i get paid!
9. What was your biggest failure? -
i really can't think any of last year's event, not knowing what i really wanted to with my life, i guess.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? -
nah.
11. What was the best thing you bought? -
i can't remember buying something i really, really wanted=(
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? -
none that i could think of...
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? -
no one
14. Where did most of your money go? -
food, bills...basic stuff...
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? -
nothing much.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? -
Usher's Burn!
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter?
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? -
took more risks...
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? -
tardiness, procrastination, online time...=P
20. How will you be spending Christmas? -
spent christmas with my family, nothing compares to that=)
21. Did you fall in love in 2004? -
think so?
22. How many one-night stands? -
like duh, i wish i had one...ble=P
23. What was your favorite TV program? -
none!...oh well sex and the city ended.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? -
i don't hate anyone...
25. What was the best book you read? -
hmm honestly, widmann's clinical interpretation of laboratory results...that's more like a nice helpful paperback for me...but i wasn't able to finish it;P
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? -
that i had my guitar since sixth grade...and still haven't progressed on playing it due to lack of perseverance...and now i'm trying to catch up.
27. What did you want and got? -
hmm, got my license.
28. What was your favorite film of this year? -
no favorites, just liked 50 first dates, a shark tail...though it didn't surpassed my expectation, a cinderella story was cute, lost in translation...
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? -
heared mass, went out with groupmates, had my daily duty and went to cebu for the sinulog. nineteen.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? -
someone...=P
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? -
too casual and laid back.
32. What kept you sane? -
God, net, music, movies, just chillin', friends...senseless conversations plus some food and alcohol to add up=P
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? -
kitchie nadal=P
34. What political issue stirred you the most? -
i hate politics...none!
35. Who did you miss? -
my college friends, high school friends...
36. Who was the best new person you met? -
hmm...can't think of anyone.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: -
sometimes you don't have to overanalyze things, you just have to do it and forget the doubts. and oh well, life is better without the television (except for the news...and some all time favorite shows...hehe)
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: -
"it's coming over you, like it's coming over me, crashing like a tidal wave that drags me out to sea...i don't wanna be...stranded, stranded, stranded, stranded..."

2004

2004-12-31T23:32:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: whatever...
THOUGHT: goodbye.

Few minutes from now, it's 2005. So this should be quick. My last entry for this year.
2004 has been a good year for me. Definitely. I learned a lot. I'd say it was a year of new experiences.
Thank you. It has been a good ride.
God bless us all.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

XMas!

2004-12-25T01:36:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: Christmas carols=P
THOUGHT: hmm...

Just wanna say MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! to all of you guys. God bless you always.=)

Much love,
Cyra

untitled

2004-10-31T01:02:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: suntok sa buwan by session road
THOUGHT: la lang...

Nah, I don't have a life yet. I just wanted to blog, so forget the previous entry. Well, nothing's up...I'm still busy bumming around. I'll go home tomorrow...might be back next week. I'm so sick and tired of having a daily 24-hour duty at home=P but on the second thought, I guess I'm still loving it.=D Finally I realized I need to do something productive. I still don't know what it is. Might find out soon. Well, hopefully I'll do 'cause it's already November...it's the start of the 2nd semester of my 'out of school' life.=P
####
For those who like this song and can relate to it, well, enjoy.=)
Suntok sa Buwan
Session Road
Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan
'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan
Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo
Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin
'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin
Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

dazed 'n confused

2004-10-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: kitchie nadal's wag na wag mong sasabihin=)
THOUGHT: hmm...

Got nothing to blog honestly. Just realized it's been two months and nothing is happening...I still don't know what to do. I'm lost. I guess I'm signing off for the meantime. (no moh blogging 'til i get a life!)
###
Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin
Kitchie Nadal
may gusto ka bang sabihin
ba't di mapakali
ni hindi makatingin
sana'y wag mo na itong palipasin
at subukang lutasin
sana nga'y sinabi mo na...
ibang nararapat sa akin
na tunay kong mamahalin
oh... wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo
ano man ang inaakala
na ako'y isang bituin
na walang sasambahin
di ko man ito ipakita
abot langit ang daing
sana nga'y sinabi mo na...
at sa gabi, sinong duduyan sa'yo...
at sa umaga, ang hangin ang hahaplos sa'yo...
oh...oh...oh...
wag na wag mong sasabihin
na hindi mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa kalayaan mo...
###
So I end up with that.=)

closure

2004-09-30T18:07:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: 'til they take my heart away:D...patti austin's if i believe...madonna's crazy for you:P
THOUGHT: ~u~

From my journal:
"...and i watched you walk away, away from my life. without even asking why you had to go and why you ever came."
And I wonder if I'll ever see you again.
But then again, goodbye.
Thanks."=)

hell yea...

2004-09-26T01:13:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: ahmm...f*ck it (i don't want you back) - eamon (can't get it out of my head)
THOUGHT: whatever.
Too lazy to blog these days. Had lots of drafts...anyway just wanted to post something...will edit this later...
I should be asleep...i'll be leaving at 6am...got a 1pm flight for mla. Grr...I hate it. I don't know what to do with my life!!!
Can you help me?

black days...

2004-09-06T01:09:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: i melt with you by jason mraz...=)
THOUGHT: n-e-v-e-r-m-i-n-d

took the plunge and it was suicide...

dare you to move...

2004-08-11T21:16:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: deep inside of you by 3eb, sway by bic runga, dare you to move by switchfoot
THOUGHT: "anything is possible if you just believe..."

I like this day, quiet a fateful one.

Applied for PRC...at last...no more turning back. Grr...

Watched A Cinderella Story. It's another typical teeny-bopper-fairytale movie but anyway, I like it still. It's one of those feel-good movies I find 'cute'. And not to mention I like Hillary Duff. I'm actually a fan of Lizzie McGuire so that's it...hehe... I think I'm somewhat lost in time.=) And by the way, Chad Michael Murray (Gilmore Girls, Dawson's Creek...) is so adorable...hmm... I feel like I'm a teenager...hey wait I forgot I'm still nineteen.:P

So that's it I finally forgot the twenty days left before the dreaded day. I must be sick. Pray for me.

2004-08-08T16:18:00.000+08:00

cha, me and sica

2004-08-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

sica, glo-ann, cha and me

Don't Go Away

2004-08-08T15:43:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: don't go away by oasis, when i see you smile by boyz II men, so into you by tamia and the list goes on...
THOUGHT: Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

Cold and frosty morning
There's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind...

So don’t go away
Say what you say
Say that you'll stay
Forever and a day
In the time of my life
Cos I need more time
Yes I need more time just to make things right...

I think...

2004-08-01T15:30:00.000+08:00

I just want to post something...

Falling
Keahiwai

I wanna tell you baby
You're the one that
I'm thinking of
But your heart is still with her
And I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy
Even if it's not with me
Maybe one day
You'll open up your eyes and you'll see

[Chorus]
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think Im falling
Baby Im falling for you

[Verse 2]
From the first time
You laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face
Will last till the end of time
But Im not so sure
That you're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no
But my heart only says that it's you

[Chorus]

Bridge:
Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold

[Chorus]
Yet still I'm falling
Maybe im falling for you yeah
I think Im falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think Im falling
Maybe I'm falling for you yeah
I think I'm falling
Baby Im falling for you

That's it....

spidey

2004-07-01T01:52:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: spiderman...spiderman...=)
THOUGHT: "i can't have what i want and need, then what it is i should do?"...err sounds like...

Watched Spiderman 2 today. I'm not a fan of the comic series and I wasn't even interested with it anyway. I just wanted to watch it on its premier day. Nothing special really. I think it's better compared to the first one. I like the 'train' part...nice visual effects. That's all.

empty chairs...

2004-06-28T01:59:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: there's silence in my head today...:)
THOUGHT: tomorrow, you'll be gone and i shall never think of you again...i hope so...:)

an entry for noone...
Today, you came in late. You passed by me, looking for some vacant seats. The chairs beside mine were empty and for a millisecond i thought of "nesslerization...HEY!" Then you passed by, sat behind me and when i turned my back, you were no longer there...

Another demon inside my head...

last...

2004-06-20T23:29:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: i don't wanna know if you're playin' me, keep it on the low...[mario winans]
THOUGHT: ahem...

Time for some silly quiz:)

1. the last movie you watched?
- Troy

2. the last tv show you watched?
- something on Lifestyle Network...

3. the last song you heard?
- TQ's Westside

4. the last thing you bought?
- Gardenia's classic bread:)

5. the last place you went [besides your
house]? - church...(angel's smile)

6. the last food you ate?
- pork bbq, pancit canton, mango float...i'm on a diet=)

7. The last thing you heard from your
parents? - hmm where's your room keys?

8. the last thing you said to your parents?
- happy fathers day!

9. the last thing you said to one of your
friends? - there at the bottom!...:)

10. the last thing you read?
- the daily paper:)

WHO WAS...
1. the last person you called?
- rhea

2. the last person who called you?
- my father

3. the last person you texted?
- my father

4. the last person who texted you?
- forgot

5. the last person who said good night last
night? - myself;)

6. the last person who said I love you?
- ha?

7. the last person who gave you a testimonial?
- 2net

8. the last person who messaged you
[friendster]? - janice

9. the last person you hugged? - forgot

10.the last person you saw on tv? - mhe...hehe...:)

don't tell me...

2004-06-18T01:19:00.003+08:00

MUSIC: ahm...baby, the moment i feel your energy...hmm...i like that part with Usher:)[naughty girl by beyonce]...my l.s.s. for the day
THOUGHT: am quiet sleepy...

"Don't try to tell me what to do, don't try to tell me what to say..."
Avril Lavigne's Don't Tell Me
I'm sick and tired of people telling me what to do. It just gets into my skin.
I trip myself over again...and again. Is there a room for change? I do hope.

blog

2004-06-12T01:15:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: uh...uh...man I don't know what I gotta do without my boo...
THOUGHT: =)

I promised myself that this is the last blog I'll make this year. I really like the template. Am, no, it's not what you think it is. I just like this one. I'm not done with it though. I think this template looks larger in my p.c. so I recommend I.E. 6.0 for better viewing.

Again, wasted time for this one, not to mention money. I'm planning to concentrate tomorrow on my review. (if it happens, my gawd it's a miracle)

Have to sleep.:)